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Word Perfect help centre

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Lilley
Advanced Member



Australia
3,740 posts
Joined: Jul, 2006
Lilley has attended 7 events
Posted - 2008/08/11 :  12:53:49  Show profile Send a private message
There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in along time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. Thisis a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribedfrom a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless tosay the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suingthe Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (NowI know why they record these conversations!):
Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a suddenthe words went away." Operator: "Went away?"
Caller: "They disappeared."
Operator: "Hmm So what does your screen look like now?"
Caller: "Nothing."
Operator: "Nothing??"
Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
Caller: "How do I tell?"
Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around thescreen?"
Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won'taccept anything I type."
Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
Caller: "What's a monitor?"
Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks likea TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
Caller: "I don't know."
Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and findwhere the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
Caller: "Yes, I think so.."
Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me ifit's plugged into the wall. Caller: "Yes, it is."
Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there againand find the other cable." Caller: "Okay, here it is."
Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.
"Caller: "I can't reach.
"Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something andlean way over??"
Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle- it's because it's dark."
Operator: "Dark??"Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only lightI have is coming in from the window."
Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Caller: "I can't."
Operator: "No? Why not??"
Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
Operator: "A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??"
Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and packit up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the storeyou bought it from."
Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tellthem??"
Operator: "Tell them you're too #%$%$% stupid to own acomputer!!!!!"


__________________________________
nearly in line....
.....strange continuity problems


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Project-Industrial
Advanced Member



Netherlands
2,481 posts
Joined: Nov, 2005


33 hardcore releases
Project-Industrial has attended 24 events
Posted - 2008/08/11 :  12:57:26  Show profile  Send a private message  Visit Project-Industrial's homepage
LOL .. that was actually worth reading haha

__________________________________
Alias:
- Project Industrial
- Disease

http://www.project-industrial.com
http://www.discogs.com/label/Furious+Monkey+Records
http://www.furiousmonkeyrecords.com/




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Karasu__
Junior Member



Canada
117 posts
Joined: Apr, 2008
Posted - 2008/08/11 :  13:13:31  Show profile  Send a private message  Visit Karasu__'s homepage
quote:

Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something andlean way over??"
Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle- it's because it's dark."
Operator: "Dark??"
Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Caller: "I can't."
Operator: "No? Why not??"
Caller: "Because there's a power failure."


HAHAHAHAAAHHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHA EPIC FAIL


__________________________________
Dju Dji Dja DANCE ON MA BEAT


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Vitalism
Advanced Member



Canada
1,707 posts
Joined: Oct, 2005
Posted - 2008/08/11 :  17:52:13  Show profile  Send a private message  Visit Vitalism's homepage
your double post about an epic fail is an epic fail.



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SPOOX
Advanced Member



United Kingdom
2,644 posts
Joined: Jul, 2006
Posted - 2008/08/11 :  19:20:01  Show profile  Send a private message  Visit SPOOX's homepage
At first i thought i can't be arsed to read all this but glad i did. Hilarious!!!!



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FingazMc
Advanced Member



United Kingdom
2,761 posts
Joined: Mar, 2001
FingazMc has attended 28 events
Posted - 2008/08/11 :  19:45:09  Show profile  Send a private message  Visit FingazMc's homepage
Some people really are retarded haha.

Almost as bad as:
"No, it cant be a power cut because a bus just went past with its lights on"


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http://www.soundcloud.com/fingazmc




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Meathead
Advanced Member



United Kingdom
4,217 posts
Joined: Sep, 2006
Posted - 2008/08/11 :  19:47:27  Show profile  Send a private message  Visit Meathead's homepage
Lol worth the read. God i wanna work in a help centre now, you could have so much fun.

__________________________________
"Music creates order out of chaos; for rhythm imposes unanimity upon the divergent, melody imposes continuity upon the disjointed, and harmony imposes compatibility upon the incongruous." -Sir Yehudi Menuhin




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