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kathryn
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
6,520 posts
Joined: Apr, 2005
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 Posted - 2009/10/30 : 12:10:13
Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.
The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'
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:)
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kathryn
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
6,520 posts
Joined: Apr, 2005
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Posted - 2009/10/30 : 12:12:11
The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"
"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.
And then they made love for the first time.
Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.
Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."
Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."
After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"
The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.
Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.
She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."
Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,
OKAY!
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:)
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Wilky
Banned
United Kingdom
6,198 posts
Joined: Mar, 2008
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Posted - 2009/10/30 : 12:42:05
Haha 1st one ive got 2nd one is ok. I will bang sum up later
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Canocorn
Junior Member
United States
88 posts
Joined: Sep, 2009
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Posted - 2009/10/30 : 15:50:55
XD i liked both of them
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SPOOX
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
2,644 posts
Joined: Jul, 2006
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Posted - 2009/10/30 : 17:57:40
 Good jokes. Not heard them before.
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Brian K
Advanced Member
United States
8,663 posts
Joined: Sep, 2001
528 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2009/10/30 : 22:20:35
haha those were cute
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"we'll delete the weak"
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8D
Advanced Member
Canada
820 posts
Joined: Oct, 2009
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Posted - 2009/10/30 : 22:40:38
What do you call a gay bar with no stools?
A fruit stand
XD so bad
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